I'm 21 years old
I've never had a job or a girlfriend.
I waste my time on the internet goofing off instead of getting work done or going out to socialize.
Who's to blame for me not having a life?
I am, that's who.
I am literally the architect of my own misery by not being outgoing, living in fear of change, rejection, and harsh subjective criticism, living in a fantasy world and putting little to no effort in being anything more than an average joe. And while I'm at it, what I say right here and now in this post is literally a waste of time.
Who knows, though?
maybe I am doing something useful by expressing what plagues my mind as a college senior who literally should have done so much more during the past 6 semesters (participate in more club activities, make more friends, get part time work).......or I'm just doing what I always do by repeatedly complaining and being hard on myself because I'm apparently addicted to being overly dramatic about my misfortunes of being a shy, single, self contradicting introvert who's literally just at this moment saying the same things over and over.
I barely follow what's going on in the news except for film and animation....but not the serious stuff on what's happening in the world (though to be fair, maybe I'm better off because it's all the same depressing and monotonous drivel of black kids getting shot, virus outbreaks, terrorist attacks, species on the verge of extinction, genocide, habitat loss and all other manner of horrible atrocities done to nature and society).
Honestly, I don't think I'm doing a good job at making my point, whatever it may be.
I don't think I have even an inkling of what I'm even trying to say, I'm just rambling on.
In fact why don't I make myself into even more of a hypocrite and get even more off topic by stating that I actually do a lot more than most people my age.
I know how to cook, clean a bathroom toilet, make a bed, vacuum a carpet and/or floor, and even drive from place to place unaccompanied by anyone.
I've grown more mature over the past 3 years and developed a greater understanding of how life works.
Yet, I am still naive to a lot of life's facts and challenged by responsibilities I have as an adult and as a member of society.
Honestly, I am so disorganized despite knowing how to be organized.
In fact, this whole post is disorganized and lacks focus.
Oh who am I kidding, I just posted this because I'm having something of an anxiety attack because I have a lot of assignments to catch up on and needed to let it all out.
It's a hard life being me.